Someday
“We meet again.” The now-familiar voice of Howard Donald interrupted
Jason Orange’s thoughts and forced him to look up from the daydream he'd drifted into as he waited in the queue at his favourite coffee shop. He smiled slightly and tilted his head.
“If you tell me that second coffee in your hand is for me, then I’ll let you still be my boyfriend,” he shot back quickly and Howard laughed.
“Hold my hand?” Howard bargained back. Jason laughed softly, rolling his eyes but taking Howard’s offered hand and stepping out of the queue. Howard placed a quick kiss on his cheek and handed him the second coffee, watching Jason sip it and smile at him.
“So, what are you doing out of bed before me?” he asked teasingly, manoeuvring his sunglasses over his eyes as the two of them stepped out of the coffee shop and onto the pavement.
“Hoping to surprise you?” Howard suggested, knowing Jason wouldn’t buy it but enjoying the game the pair of them were indulging in.
“There’s a street packed with clubs right at the end of this road and yet you’re bypassing it for me? I’m flattered, but however will you pay the rent on that flat of yours?” Jason chuckled through another sip of his coffee. Howard smiled and leant into him, brushing his lips against Jason’s cheek and then resting his forehead to Jason’s temple.
“You mean that shoebox of mine?” he teased back quietly.
“Do I? I wouldn’t know, you never let me past the front door,” Jason remarked archly, glancing up at Howard from the corner of his eye.
“You’d have a panic attack if you got any further than that,” Howard smirked.
“There’s something refreshing about going to your place though. It’s the only time I can guarantee that you don’t just want me for my body, since you won’t let my body through the door,” Jason winked back. Howard’s eyes sparked slightly at Jason’s words but his desire not to lose their battle of wills kept him from pulling Jason into a longer kiss right there. Instead he smiled slowly and brought the back of Jason’s hand to his lips.
“Don’t be silly, I always want you for your body,” he grinned.
“Oh you old romantic,” Jason laughed, smacking his shoulder lightly, his eyes dancing, and Howard shrugged idly.
“What?! It’s a nice body!” he offered and Jason shook his head, still laughing, still leaning contentedly into Howard's company.
“You’re a nuisance, you know that? Ever since I let you across the threshold of my apartment, you’ve done nothing but try and sleep with me,” he lamented.
“I’ve done more than try, give me some credit for my success rate!” Howard put in, knowing he was pushing it but unable to resist. Jason elbowed him slightly but didn’t let go of his hand.
“Your success rate at getting into my bed is very hard to ignore, Donald. Especially now you’ve started knocking on my door unannounced in the middle of the night,” he said and Howard smiled.
“Well, you are the one who keeps getting up to answer,” he reminded him, unable to hide the pride in his voice. Jason didn’t miss it, the note of victory, and he smiled affectionately up at Howard.
“Well, it’s the thought of you all alone, trying to cram yourself into your shoebox on the wrong side of town. It kills me every time,” he half-joked, half-sighed as he looked away.
“Did I kill you last night?” Howard asked carefully. Jason tilted his head in thought.
“A little bit,” he conceded.
“Do you forgive me?” Howard added and Jason’s eyes glittered slightly behind his shades.
“A little bit,” he replied.
“I would’ve called but my phone's broken. I couldn’t sleep mind you,” Howard admitted.
“Nor me,” Jason all but whispered, looking away. Howard sighed. For a moment the two of them walked in silence. Jason didn’t take away his hand from Howard’s, but he didn’t hold it any tighter either. Howard bit his lip.
“Jay,” he tried at last.
“Mm?” Jason didn’t turn to look at Howard as he spoke.
“I know I don’t...I mean, we’re not-” Howard stammered but something in his voice caught Jason’s attention and he turned his head.
“You don’t what?” he interrupted, soft but firm.
“Look...you know I am serious about you, ok? You do know that, right? And that means that...that means that I am probably going to let you down a hundred and fifty more times, at least. And I’m probably going to piss you off. A lot. And you’re not going to want to talk to me and you might want to throw things at me and you might move me in just so you can have the fun of throwing me right back out. But even though I’ll probably do everything else wrong I...I will always have got my choice right.” Jason watched him a moment and then looked away, watching their feet as they carried on down the pavement. Howard held his breath, but Jason didn’t unclasp their hands.
“And what’s your choice exactly?” Jason asked him at last, a tenderness to his voice that calmed Howard's nerves.
“My choice is you,” Howard shrugged. He had expected a tougher question, but that one? That was simple. Jason smiled slightly.
“Oh?” he asked, an unreadable look on his face.
“Yeah. You. Simple really,” Howard replied, and Jason’s smile began to widen. He looked up into Howard’s face, scanning it briefly before looking down at their feet again.
“How many months have we even known each other now?” he asked suddenly and Howard blinked.
“Um...a lot? It feels like a lot.” He screwed up his face slightly as he tried to think and Jason laughed; fondly, kindly.
“It feels like...enough,” he murmured after a beat. “It feels like enough to know.” Howard smiled at that, nodding in understanding of what Jason meant. He paused then, biting his lip yet again, unsure if he should say what he was thinking.
“I’m going to marry you someday, you know,” he said at last. Jason didn’t look up immediately and Howard found himself holding his breath yet again.
“You really think we should be talking about someday? When is ‘someday’ even?” Jason asked guardedly.
“I dunno. Tomorrow. Three decades from now. I really have no clue, Jay. I just know that no one else made it to someday coz someday was built for you. And I...I don’t want you to think that me vanishing last night is any sort of indication of the direction my life is going in,” Howard replied, taking a deep breath and shrugging slightly, suddenly self-conscious. “Someday, we're going to be sure, that's all. Someday we won't have to doubt and question because the promise it already made. Someday, I'm going to marry you.” Jason glanced up at him then, pausing a moment before letting a quiet smile spread across his lips.
“Ok,” he said simply. Howard paused a moment before slowly, cautiously looking over at him.
“Ok?” he breathed, tentatively hopeful.
“Yeah. Ok. We're ok here. And we're going to be ok,” Jason replied, tilting his head up just enough for Howard to kiss his smile.
“Then how about...I’ll be round yours at eight?” Howard mumbled against Jason’s lips and Jason laughed.
“Mm, you better be. Now go to your meeting, you’re gonna need money for all the wine you’ll be bringing round with you tonight to get drunk enough to justify forgiving you so easily,” Jason replied with a playful grin, before gently pushing Howard on his way.
“If you tell me that second coffee in your hand is for me, then I’ll let you still be my boyfriend,” he shot back quickly and Howard laughed.
“Hold my hand?” Howard bargained back. Jason laughed softly, rolling his eyes but taking Howard’s offered hand and stepping out of the queue. Howard placed a quick kiss on his cheek and handed him the second coffee, watching Jason sip it and smile at him.
“So, what are you doing out of bed before me?” he asked teasingly, manoeuvring his sunglasses over his eyes as the two of them stepped out of the coffee shop and onto the pavement.
“Hoping to surprise you?” Howard suggested, knowing Jason wouldn’t buy it but enjoying the game the pair of them were indulging in.
“There’s a street packed with clubs right at the end of this road and yet you’re bypassing it for me? I’m flattered, but however will you pay the rent on that flat of yours?” Jason chuckled through another sip of his coffee. Howard smiled and leant into him, brushing his lips against Jason’s cheek and then resting his forehead to Jason’s temple.
“You mean that shoebox of mine?” he teased back quietly.
“Do I? I wouldn’t know, you never let me past the front door,” Jason remarked archly, glancing up at Howard from the corner of his eye.
“You’d have a panic attack if you got any further than that,” Howard smirked.
“There’s something refreshing about going to your place though. It’s the only time I can guarantee that you don’t just want me for my body, since you won’t let my body through the door,” Jason winked back. Howard’s eyes sparked slightly at Jason’s words but his desire not to lose their battle of wills kept him from pulling Jason into a longer kiss right there. Instead he smiled slowly and brought the back of Jason’s hand to his lips.
“Don’t be silly, I always want you for your body,” he grinned.
“Oh you old romantic,” Jason laughed, smacking his shoulder lightly, his eyes dancing, and Howard shrugged idly.
“What?! It’s a nice body!” he offered and Jason shook his head, still laughing, still leaning contentedly into Howard's company.
“You’re a nuisance, you know that? Ever since I let you across the threshold of my apartment, you’ve done nothing but try and sleep with me,” he lamented.
“I’ve done more than try, give me some credit for my success rate!” Howard put in, knowing he was pushing it but unable to resist. Jason elbowed him slightly but didn’t let go of his hand.
“Your success rate at getting into my bed is very hard to ignore, Donald. Especially now you’ve started knocking on my door unannounced in the middle of the night,” he said and Howard smiled.
“Well, you are the one who keeps getting up to answer,” he reminded him, unable to hide the pride in his voice. Jason didn’t miss it, the note of victory, and he smiled affectionately up at Howard.
“Well, it’s the thought of you all alone, trying to cram yourself into your shoebox on the wrong side of town. It kills me every time,” he half-joked, half-sighed as he looked away.
“Did I kill you last night?” Howard asked carefully. Jason tilted his head in thought.
“A little bit,” he conceded.
“Do you forgive me?” Howard added and Jason’s eyes glittered slightly behind his shades.
“A little bit,” he replied.
“I would’ve called but my phone's broken. I couldn’t sleep mind you,” Howard admitted.
“Nor me,” Jason all but whispered, looking away. Howard sighed. For a moment the two of them walked in silence. Jason didn’t take away his hand from Howard’s, but he didn’t hold it any tighter either. Howard bit his lip.
“Jay,” he tried at last.
“Mm?” Jason didn’t turn to look at Howard as he spoke.
“I know I don’t...I mean, we’re not-” Howard stammered but something in his voice caught Jason’s attention and he turned his head.
“You don’t what?” he interrupted, soft but firm.
“Look...you know I am serious about you, ok? You do know that, right? And that means that...that means that I am probably going to let you down a hundred and fifty more times, at least. And I’m probably going to piss you off. A lot. And you’re not going to want to talk to me and you might want to throw things at me and you might move me in just so you can have the fun of throwing me right back out. But even though I’ll probably do everything else wrong I...I will always have got my choice right.” Jason watched him a moment and then looked away, watching their feet as they carried on down the pavement. Howard held his breath, but Jason didn’t unclasp their hands.
“And what’s your choice exactly?” Jason asked him at last, a tenderness to his voice that calmed Howard's nerves.
“My choice is you,” Howard shrugged. He had expected a tougher question, but that one? That was simple. Jason smiled slightly.
“Oh?” he asked, an unreadable look on his face.
“Yeah. You. Simple really,” Howard replied, and Jason’s smile began to widen. He looked up into Howard’s face, scanning it briefly before looking down at their feet again.
“How many months have we even known each other now?” he asked suddenly and Howard blinked.
“Um...a lot? It feels like a lot.” He screwed up his face slightly as he tried to think and Jason laughed; fondly, kindly.
“It feels like...enough,” he murmured after a beat. “It feels like enough to know.” Howard smiled at that, nodding in understanding of what Jason meant. He paused then, biting his lip yet again, unsure if he should say what he was thinking.
“I’m going to marry you someday, you know,” he said at last. Jason didn’t look up immediately and Howard found himself holding his breath yet again.
“You really think we should be talking about someday? When is ‘someday’ even?” Jason asked guardedly.
“I dunno. Tomorrow. Three decades from now. I really have no clue, Jay. I just know that no one else made it to someday coz someday was built for you. And I...I don’t want you to think that me vanishing last night is any sort of indication of the direction my life is going in,” Howard replied, taking a deep breath and shrugging slightly, suddenly self-conscious. “Someday, we're going to be sure, that's all. Someday we won't have to doubt and question because the promise it already made. Someday, I'm going to marry you.” Jason glanced up at him then, pausing a moment before letting a quiet smile spread across his lips.
“Ok,” he said simply. Howard paused a moment before slowly, cautiously looking over at him.
“Ok?” he breathed, tentatively hopeful.
“Yeah. Ok. We're ok here. And we're going to be ok,” Jason replied, tilting his head up just enough for Howard to kiss his smile.
“Then how about...I’ll be round yours at eight?” Howard mumbled against Jason’s lips and Jason laughed.
“Mm, you better be. Now go to your meeting, you’re gonna need money for all the wine you’ll be bringing round with you tonight to get drunk enough to justify forgiving you so easily,” Jason replied with a playful grin, before gently pushing Howard on his way.